Chocolate Peanut Butter Birthday Cake

For the past two years my son has requested carrot cake for his birthday. This year he surprised me by changing his request to chocolate peanut butter (this kid never tires of peanut butter). Naturally I turned to Pinterest and was delighted to find this yummy recipe from The Baker Upstairs which was well received by not only the birthday boy, but the entire family as well.

This was the first birthday in our family since delivering our stillborn daughter Dove in January. My perspective on many things in life has changed since that time, including my perspective on birthdays. My thoughts are these:

This year I did not ask Benson to stop growing up. This year I did not tell him to stay little forever. This year I felt no sadness by his age, only gladness. 

This year I want him to grow up because growing up is not something I will see Dove do. This year I do not want him to stay little forever for that is now what Dove is to me. This year I feel gladness for the chance to see all the milestones he has hit so far in his life because that means that he is alive.

And so dear Benson, grow. Please keep growing. Don't stay little forever. Hit those milestones and continue to make my future bright with the anticipation of all you will do and become.