Sparkle Paints and Dish Towels

Last week I had to run to the craft store to buy paper supplies for an activity at church. As I browsed the paper isle my three year old provided ample support in filling my cart with a multiplicity of options, including her very own 6x6 paper pad. Although I normally do not make spontaneous purchases at the store, I was easily convinced that this item would provide hours of entertainment for my daughter given her current love of coloring and cutting any piece of paper to shreds. I gave her my consent to keep the item in the cart and began searching the isles for the second item on my list: a pack of glue sticks.

Not knowing their exact location I began briskly pushing my cart up and down each isle desperate to get out of the store as soon as possible. However, as any parent of young children knows, taking your child to the store ensures that your trip will be anything but quick. As my eyes searched up high for glue, my daughters eyes searched down low and discovered paint, sparkle paint. Before I knew it the paints were whisked up in her arms with a fervent and authoritative reminder that we had just run out of paint the day before.

There was no need to remind her of her previous choice in art supplies and the need to pick only one, for she initiated the conversation asking me to put back the paper (and new pack of crayons) in exchange for the paints. I reluctantly did so as I traded an independent activity for one that now required my supervision. As we walked up to the counter, she proudly carried the paints, verbally affirming that they were her very own.

I am not sure what struck me about her words, or maybe it was her tone that suddenly made me realize what I had done. In my desire to provide an outlet for my daughters artistic creativity I had unknowingly given her an unhealthy dose of instant gratification and a sense of entitlement towards an item she had not truly earned.

I then stopped in line and asked her what she was going to do to earn the paints, what job she might consider a fair exchange. I suggested that perhaps she fold and put away the dish towels and rags I had pulled from the dryer on our way out the door, to which she agreed. As we walked in the door at home, and I momentarily dreaded the task of reminding her of our deal, she promptly walked over to the couch and asked if those were the rags she needed to fold. To be honest I was a bit baffled by her assertiveness, but quickly and happily confirmed.

She cheerfully folded the rags, opting to roll some of the larger dish towels that were a bit "too tricky" to fold. I applauded her for being a big helper in our family (thank you Daniel Tiger) to which she then spouted out a stream of self-applauding phrases such as "I'm a super helper" and "I'm being a big helper in my family". Then, just as I was thinking this was all too good to be true she groaned about having to put everything away...but she did! With a little bit more encouragement along the way she mange to complete her task and then, without missing a beat, she climbed up to a bar stool and declared her readiness to paint.

(Although I was tempted by the thought, I did not refold or rearrange her rolled up dish towels. Surprisingly, almost a week later, I am still alive and it had no major or minor impact upon my ability to function in the kitchen.)

Because commodities are so easily accessible (and affordable) it can be easy to get into the habit of frequently purchasing items for our children that they have not earn. Although young children can not always earn the exact amount of money needed for a desired item, regardless of age, your child is completely capable of performing small tasks that teach them the value of work and the importance of contributing to the family team.